Kids should be seen and heard

I vow to spend the year disputing how great it used to be, to dispute how people were such better parents back in the day because they made their children fear them and excluded them from the family by putting them at children's tables and sending   them to play outside until the street lights came home.  We were seen and not heard.  Which is not a good thing. It is important for children to feel empowered and heard by their parents. I am tired of this idealized version of the old days when children respected adults...we did not respect them, we feared them. Women were role models for slavery.  Children were abused and had no one and no where to turn.  The only people with a voice back then were white male Christians who had a good job. 
So,  the old days are just that old!  There is a reason that people who were raised back then did NOT raise their children that way. 
The good NEW days are what we should be focused on.  If your children are disrespectful it is probably because you do not respect them, you probably do not model respect of others to them and YOU, their parent, need to research ways to change that. 
If you are looking for the good old days there was no such thing.
It's a myth perpetrated by people who don't want to change for the better.
So start sharing positive parenting tips that support creative,  politically aware , vocal,  respectful children. 
Change is good and for a reason. Embrace it.
These are the good new days.

GOD AND MY TOYOTA TUNDRA SAVED US

This guy survived a tornado in Texas and says, "God and my Toyota Tundra saved us. "

What a nice guy,  since TOYOTA has had so many recalls and  bad press, to give them their next ad campaign. 

Drive a Toyota, God does!!

This guy is very brave as well.

I lived in Texas and have relatives who live there, to admit that you drive a non-American made vehicle is practically suicide! So for him to give credit to a Toyota for saving his ass from a TORNADO, MY GOD,  this man is brave!!

He blamed being stuck in the tornado on the local radio station for warning people too much about tornados and said the warnings should have said that there was a tornado out side of Bass Pro Shop, where he was.  Had they done that he would have stayed in the store.

Well,  sir,  you should sue!! Those warnings were the reason your beloved Toyota Tundra, that God sent to save you,  is in the junk yard. ..call the lawyer today! 

And God bless TOYOTA

The Christmas Story : how one lives seals one's fate.

It's spring in the Middle East. The shepherds are watching their flocks in the hills near Nazareth. It's mating season and one of the few times the sheep, and the men, are free.

In town a newly engaged women of 15 lies silently as a Roman soldier rapes her.  She tells no one.

Months later she cries. The moon has risen and set twice and her time has not come.  She must tell her betrothed.  She must tell Joseph. She prays to the universe to give her the right words for she has grown to love this man. Her parents have chosen well for her.

She tries to sleep, restless in the heat and heavy with the burden that she carries a child that may cause her to be stoned to death or worse...shunned by her family and community. What will she do if Joseph cannot find enough love in his heart to let her stay? Without a man to protect her and provide for her will she turn to prostitution?  How will she provide for herself?  What about the child within her? Will she be able to love this child; the product, not of love, but of violence, hatred and pain. Her questions without answers lull her into a fitfull sleep.

The day has come.  She asks her mother if she may go to Joseph. "It is the middle of the day, child, there are chores."

She insists and just leaves,  her mother calling after her, "The work will be waiting when you return. "

As she walks the street to his carpentry shop her mind is spinning,  what will he do,  will he ask that she be stoned, he has every right by law, will he hold her because of their love, will he...a quiet wind blows across the road.  She looks to the sky and clouds ripple like a river.  There is little sound and she suddenly feels a peace.  She suddenly knows that no matter what ...it will be ok. 

She turns the corner to see Joseph; good, gentle, loving Joseph. She pauses for a moment and says,  "Thank you, " then rushes into his arms,  the whole terrible story flowing from her mouth like vomit.

Tears stream down both of their faces as Joseph takes her chin in his hand,  turning her face to his and says,  "Mary, I have always loved you.  I will always love you. I will love this baby as I love you, for circumstance does not seal one's fate,  how we choose to live is what seals one's fate. I choose you. I choose him."

Touching her belly ever so gently he kisses her tears away.

The baby, they named Jesus, and they raised him with such love that as a man he became a beacon of hope and wisdom and peace for centuries to come and centuries more.

The power of love has never been as strong as the night when he was born.  It was as if the whole world knew something had changed.  We,  the human race,  would never be the same.

So we celebrate Mary and Joseph's love for each other and their child at Christmastime, a historic time for reflection and prayer.

Their wisdom to believe that circumstance does not seal one's fate...how one lives seals one's fate has given hope to millions through the words and actions of their beloved son, Jesus.

For this, we the world,  shall be forever grateful.

Amen

Every time you see a manger think of this powerful couple and their brave choices.

God is just a word

God saved me many times.
God also let me drown many times.
I was "all in" for most of my life. If something great happened it was all God. If something bad happened it was all me. But after a while I started to think about it. How come?
As a rational adult I had to look at God and decide...am I in or am I out?

I am all about holding beings accountable, especially myself, and if God's love for me got me through alcoholic parents and cancer then one has to ask if God's hatred for me was responsible for alcoholic patents and cancer. I mean,  that IS how things work. You don't get to just take credit for all the good and blame the bad on someone else...or do you?

Definition of God?  God is good.
And the Devil, what about him? Devil is bad.

I have to say I never believed in the Devil or Hell thanks to my mom. She told me God would never let that happen and she didn't care what it said in the Bible! She always said, "There is good in this world, Tina. But you have to look for it."

This coming from a women raised in the depression, by an alcoholic dad and a sickly mother whom my mom had to take care of until she died when my mom was in her 20s. She came home from her high school graduation, that no one attended by the way, to an ambulance in their driveway. She dropped her diploma and jumped in. She told me that was one of the best days of her life. Go figure.

But the no devil or hell comment always stuck, a seed of doubt. That seed is what has led me to my faith and the definition of that faith today. And it only took 50 years.

That definition is I have faith in myself.
God is just a word.
A word with a definition, like all words.

I let many things define me in my life.  I defined myself as a Christian who was saved from  being a victim and from all of the definitions society had placed on me. Then I met my soulmate and became a wife and soon after a mother and acted according to those definitions. Besides knowing I was a writer my whole life but not acting on it because that was not included in the other definitions of who I was supposed to be by definition, I was constantly defining myself by an action. I became a wife so I was a wife. I became a mother so I was a mother. I became a Christian so I was a Christian. I became a victim so I was a victim.

I became a cancer survivor so I was a cancer survivor...no. I became a cancer survivor because a brilliant doctor saved my sorry ass. Dr. Frank Snyder saved me so was I now Dr. Frank Snyder?

I began to research, rethink, reevaluate, restructure, reDEFINE.

When you get to a place in your life when a moment in time no longer defines you, you can move on.

So, I don't believe in God, the white bearded man, anymore. I believe in myself and my ability to make good decisions, to be kind, to love everyone, to listen for the whispers in the universe that try to guide me through this life. I believe I will make mistakes and should hold myself accountable and make amends for them when I need to. I believe that not everyone is in the same place as I am and I need to honor that. I need to not be prejudice about Christianity by lumping all Christians into the same definition because definitions should be fluid and all human beings should be accepting of one another in their journey here.

God is just a word and like mom or grandma or Christian it should not define a person or entity.

God has lasted so long in our culture, whether it be the Christian deity or mother earth or "The Force" , because as fluid as the definition is NOT to some people, it is something we all need in our life. A thing to hold onto that rests in our souls. God is just a word so don't be afraid to use that word to define the part of you that holds you together in times of sorrow, or gives you strength in challenging times or just gives you peace on a warm summer night as you look at the sky. The definition is yours, it is fluid, it will change over time as you grow. The word God for you will ebb and flow like the sea but if you are mindful the word God and your definition of that word should bring you peace.

Freddy's back! !!

So, we have been watching the Voice and  some artists are good,  some suck and one is great! ! The reason he is great is because he is Freddy Mercury reincarnated!

I have been missin our Freddy for years.  He was a true genius and someone who followed his own path, even when it wasn't the most popular thing. ..in fact it was damned dangerous. ..suicide for a career, not to mention real life wackos might come kill you.

Yet, his talent gave him a venue to  showcase the fact that we should all look at people for who they are and he rode that BYCICLE cuz he WANTED TO all the way to the bank and back!  And once you got bank you can say what you want,  what you need to say, what needs to be said and most people will listen.

So Jordan Smith on the Voice comes along.  He is fat. He wears glasses.  He wears his heart on his sleeve.  He is real and he is fucking talented.  But when he got 4 chairs to turn I am sure they all thought he was a woman based on his voice alone. 

And now it is up to America. He sings,  "Find me somebody to love " by Queen. He nailed it! !!

And while he made it his own,  if you closed your eyes you could picture  Freddy,  hear him.  I imagined him looking down and being proud.

This man is being judged on his talent and boy does he have a ton of it!

Go Jordan, go America. ..we have come a long way in some areas of acceptance. ..it gives me hope.