Kids should be seen and heard

I vow to spend the year disputing how great it used to be, to dispute how people were such better parents back in the day because they made their children fear them and excluded them from the family by putting them at children's tables and sending   them to play outside until the street lights came home.  We were seen and not heard.  Which is not a good thing. It is important for children to feel empowered and heard by their parents. I am tired of this idealized version of the old days when children respected adults...we did not respect them, we feared them. Women were role models for slavery.  Children were abused and had no one and no where to turn.  The only people with a voice back then were white male Christians who had a good job. 
So,  the old days are just that old!  There is a reason that people who were raised back then did NOT raise their children that way. 
The good NEW days are what we should be focused on.  If your children are disrespectful it is probably because you do not respect them, you probably do not model respect of others to them and YOU, their parent, need to research ways to change that. 
If you are looking for the good old days there was no such thing.
It's a myth perpetrated by people who don't want to change for the better.
So start sharing positive parenting tips that support creative,  politically aware , vocal,  respectful children. 
Change is good and for a reason. Embrace it.
These are the good new days.

GOD AND MY TOYOTA TUNDRA SAVED US

This guy survived a tornado in Texas and says, "God and my Toyota Tundra saved us. "

What a nice guy,  since TOYOTA has had so many recalls and  bad press, to give them their next ad campaign. 

Drive a Toyota, God does!!

This guy is very brave as well.

I lived in Texas and have relatives who live there, to admit that you drive a non-American made vehicle is practically suicide! So for him to give credit to a Toyota for saving his ass from a TORNADO, MY GOD,  this man is brave!!

He blamed being stuck in the tornado on the local radio station for warning people too much about tornados and said the warnings should have said that there was a tornado out side of Bass Pro Shop, where he was.  Had they done that he would have stayed in the store.

Well,  sir,  you should sue!! Those warnings were the reason your beloved Toyota Tundra, that God sent to save you,  is in the junk yard. ..call the lawyer today! 

And God bless TOYOTA

The Christmas Story : how one lives seals one's fate.

It's spring in the Middle East. The shepherds are watching their flocks in the hills near Nazareth. It's mating season and one of the few times the sheep, and the men, are free.

In town a newly engaged women of 15 lies silently as a Roman soldier rapes her.  She tells no one.

Months later she cries. The moon has risen and set twice and her time has not come.  She must tell her betrothed.  She must tell Joseph. She prays to the universe to give her the right words for she has grown to love this man. Her parents have chosen well for her.

She tries to sleep, restless in the heat and heavy with the burden that she carries a child that may cause her to be stoned to death or worse...shunned by her family and community. What will she do if Joseph cannot find enough love in his heart to let her stay? Without a man to protect her and provide for her will she turn to prostitution?  How will she provide for herself?  What about the child within her? Will she be able to love this child; the product, not of love, but of violence, hatred and pain. Her questions without answers lull her into a fitfull sleep.

The day has come.  She asks her mother if she may go to Joseph. "It is the middle of the day, child, there are chores."

She insists and just leaves,  her mother calling after her, "The work will be waiting when you return. "

As she walks the street to his carpentry shop her mind is spinning,  what will he do,  will he ask that she be stoned, he has every right by law, will he hold her because of their love, will he...a quiet wind blows across the road.  She looks to the sky and clouds ripple like a river.  There is little sound and she suddenly feels a peace.  She suddenly knows that no matter what ...it will be ok. 

She turns the corner to see Joseph; good, gentle, loving Joseph. She pauses for a moment and says,  "Thank you, " then rushes into his arms,  the whole terrible story flowing from her mouth like vomit.

Tears stream down both of their faces as Joseph takes her chin in his hand,  turning her face to his and says,  "Mary, I have always loved you.  I will always love you. I will love this baby as I love you, for circumstance does not seal one's fate,  how we choose to live is what seals one's fate. I choose you. I choose him."

Touching her belly ever so gently he kisses her tears away.

The baby, they named Jesus, and they raised him with such love that as a man he became a beacon of hope and wisdom and peace for centuries to come and centuries more.

The power of love has never been as strong as the night when he was born.  It was as if the whole world knew something had changed.  We,  the human race,  would never be the same.

So we celebrate Mary and Joseph's love for each other and their child at Christmastime, a historic time for reflection and prayer.

Their wisdom to believe that circumstance does not seal one's fate...how one lives seals one's fate has given hope to millions through the words and actions of their beloved son, Jesus.

For this, we the world,  shall be forever grateful.

Amen

Every time you see a manger think of this powerful couple and their brave choices.

God is just a word

God saved me many times.
God also let me drown many times.
I was "all in" for most of my life. If something great happened it was all God. If something bad happened it was all me. But after a while I started to think about it. How come?
As a rational adult I had to look at God and decide...am I in or am I out?

I am all about holding beings accountable, especially myself, and if God's love for me got me through alcoholic parents and cancer then one has to ask if God's hatred for me was responsible for alcoholic patents and cancer. I mean,  that IS how things work. You don't get to just take credit for all the good and blame the bad on someone else...or do you?

Definition of God?  God is good.
And the Devil, what about him? Devil is bad.

I have to say I never believed in the Devil or Hell thanks to my mom. She told me God would never let that happen and she didn't care what it said in the Bible! She always said, "There is good in this world, Tina. But you have to look for it."

This coming from a women raised in the depression, by an alcoholic dad and a sickly mother whom my mom had to take care of until she died when my mom was in her 20s. She came home from her high school graduation, that no one attended by the way, to an ambulance in their driveway. She dropped her diploma and jumped in. She told me that was one of the best days of her life. Go figure.

But the no devil or hell comment always stuck, a seed of doubt. That seed is what has led me to my faith and the definition of that faith today. And it only took 50 years.

That definition is I have faith in myself.
God is just a word.
A word with a definition, like all words.

I let many things define me in my life.  I defined myself as a Christian who was saved from  being a victim and from all of the definitions society had placed on me. Then I met my soulmate and became a wife and soon after a mother and acted according to those definitions. Besides knowing I was a writer my whole life but not acting on it because that was not included in the other definitions of who I was supposed to be by definition, I was constantly defining myself by an action. I became a wife so I was a wife. I became a mother so I was a mother. I became a Christian so I was a Christian. I became a victim so I was a victim.

I became a cancer survivor so I was a cancer survivor...no. I became a cancer survivor because a brilliant doctor saved my sorry ass. Dr. Frank Snyder saved me so was I now Dr. Frank Snyder?

I began to research, rethink, reevaluate, restructure, reDEFINE.

When you get to a place in your life when a moment in time no longer defines you, you can move on.

So, I don't believe in God, the white bearded man, anymore. I believe in myself and my ability to make good decisions, to be kind, to love everyone, to listen for the whispers in the universe that try to guide me through this life. I believe I will make mistakes and should hold myself accountable and make amends for them when I need to. I believe that not everyone is in the same place as I am and I need to honor that. I need to not be prejudice about Christianity by lumping all Christians into the same definition because definitions should be fluid and all human beings should be accepting of one another in their journey here.

God is just a word and like mom or grandma or Christian it should not define a person or entity.

God has lasted so long in our culture, whether it be the Christian deity or mother earth or "The Force" , because as fluid as the definition is NOT to some people, it is something we all need in our life. A thing to hold onto that rests in our souls. God is just a word so don't be afraid to use that word to define the part of you that holds you together in times of sorrow, or gives you strength in challenging times or just gives you peace on a warm summer night as you look at the sky. The definition is yours, it is fluid, it will change over time as you grow. The word God for you will ebb and flow like the sea but if you are mindful the word God and your definition of that word should bring you peace.

Freddy's back! !!

So, we have been watching the Voice and  some artists are good,  some suck and one is great! ! The reason he is great is because he is Freddy Mercury reincarnated!

I have been missin our Freddy for years.  He was a true genius and someone who followed his own path, even when it wasn't the most popular thing. ..in fact it was damned dangerous. ..suicide for a career, not to mention real life wackos might come kill you.

Yet, his talent gave him a venue to  showcase the fact that we should all look at people for who they are and he rode that BYCICLE cuz he WANTED TO all the way to the bank and back!  And once you got bank you can say what you want,  what you need to say, what needs to be said and most people will listen.

So Jordan Smith on the Voice comes along.  He is fat. He wears glasses.  He wears his heart on his sleeve.  He is real and he is fucking talented.  But when he got 4 chairs to turn I am sure they all thought he was a woman based on his voice alone. 

And now it is up to America. He sings,  "Find me somebody to love " by Queen. He nailed it! !!

And while he made it his own,  if you closed your eyes you could picture  Freddy,  hear him.  I imagined him looking down and being proud.

This man is being judged on his talent and boy does he have a ton of it!

Go Jordan, go America. ..we have come a long way in some areas of acceptance. ..it gives me hope.

Compassion is not a luxury

The recent attacks in Paris and the refugee crisis has brought about a shit storm on social media.  Everyone has an idea about how to handle it and if USA should  be more involved.

Well I think we should go to the experts for advice. Let's ask some Jewish people how we should help, they certainly world be able to identify with the refugees.  Then we can ask the soldiers who liberated the concentration camps what they think. 

Move up a war or two and ask those who had to flee from Milosevic in Kosovo in the 90s. The genocide there brought a wonderful group of new Americans to our shore.  As I recall many churches sponsored families and helped them find jobs,  apartments and food .  Ask those people if they were thankful to get away from soldiers stealing their 13 year old daughters from the home and returning them in the morning almost bleeding to death from being raped all night.  Ask the soldiers who served there if anything was settled 10 years later.  They will say no.  And despite that they felt good about doing their jobs,  keeping the peace with the UN because they knew humans need to help other humans.

We are defined by our compassion and selflessness.  The need to put others above ourselves is what makes us different from most species of animals. 

So, let's ask the experts about helping the Syrian refugees. ..Ask them how and how many we should help,  if any.

I have no doubt the answer will be to help as many as we can with as much as we can share. Period!

People who are incapable of doing their jobs should be fired

I am surprised at the fact that our state legislators still have a job.  In most jobs if you are an incompetent boob you get fired.  But not politicians!

I work at a special needs school.  The latest threat due to no budget is that the buses will not be funded to bring our students to school.  So parents of children in wheel chairs and with challenges that include cognitive disabilities, autism, and emotional support, just to name a few, have to provide their own transportation.

Imagine your mornings with a typical kid and think what these parents will have to go through.

I believe the legislators who cannot do their job and pass this budget should have to provide transportation for our students. It's the least they could do for these poor parents. 

Honestly,  besides  weatherman,  only our elected officials are allowed to mess up 90 % of the time and keep their jobs. 

"Let them eat cake!!" Marie Antoinette

Since Easter is tomorrow and this page on Facebook "Right Wing News" got me goin this morning before I EVEN had my two cups of coffee, and anyone in my life knows THAT is a downright dangerous thing to do, I will blog today about hatred.

It's pretty simple, if you choose to weigh your life and soul down with hatred then hate about a choice not how someone was born.

The Right Wing thing this morning went like this..."If a black man shouldn't have to make a cake for the KKK. Then a Christian shouldn't have to make one for a gay man."

Now, we all can see the logic (not the really stupid obvious logic but the Platonic type logic) is all off here. If the black man doesn't have to bake for the KKK (the hatred group) then the GAY man shouldn't have to bake for the Christians (the hatred group).

Now, the black man cannot choose to be black.

The gay man cannot choose to be gay. (I will hit THAT argument later in the blog..wait for it..wait for it..)

Someone definitely can choose to NOT join the KKK.

And can choose not to be Christian....

At least, the choice is an option for both of those. However, some would argue that if you are born into a KKK family, or a Mormon family, or an Amish family, or a Muslim family, or some Christian families the choice to not join those groups is not your own. You would have to leave everything you know and love to make that choice, including your family. One "choice" problem they share with a gay person.

But it is a choice, nonetheless.

Some gay people I know choose to live straight.  This happened all the time when I was growing up in the '60s and '70s. But everyone kinda knew so and so's dad was gay and just never said anything. You never quite heard about this in the lesbian community, those girls were always just "very good at sports", lol. In fact the Christians real problem seems to be with gay MEN. No one really cares about lesbians and I kinda think that is because every straight man has a girl on girl porn tape hidden in the back of their closet. Right? You KNOW YOU DO!! Yup...all us chicks know all about it too...you ain't hidin' nothin' big guy.

This is also the Mormon's "answer" to the "gay problem" - a group called Same Sex Attraction or SSA - TLC had a show called "My husband's not gay" . A very interesting take on it all. They are allowed to look but not touch basically since the "husbands" in the show were all staring at a guy's butt together and going on "camping trips" that the one guys wife said, "NO WAY, remember the last time?" to when her husband announced they were all taking the new SSA member on a camping trip. They choose to lead a straight life so they don't have to lose everything they know and love because they are gay. The church has come out in favor of LGBT rights, kind of, as long as the government leaves them alone in their anti-gay marriage stance. So, all in all, the Mormons are more open than most religions. That said, it ain't much.

Despite all of these apparent choices that the gay community has over the black man, in the end, they are still gay, he is still black, I am still pissed that we hate how people are born.

If you want to hate a choice an adult makes to be Christian say, then go right ahead. Those Christians are evil people telling the world that gays are bad and evil, and  lets face it, at one point in history or another the Christians have killed, maimed and raped just about every kind of people in order to turn them Christian. Why do you think it's one of the biggest religions in the world. When they came to your pagan village you became a Christian or ELSE!! They hated the blacks down south using the religion to begin organizations like the KKK, among others. Christianity has begot more horrific hatred in the name of Jesus Christ, a man of peace and love, than any other organization, including the Nazi's Religious views of Adolf Hitler - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia or Muslims https://abagond.wordpress.com/2013/04/24/are-christians-more-violent-than-muslims/. So, if one chooses to be Christian and you want to hate them, then I get it.

But don't hate a black man, a woman, a gay person. They didn't choose that. According to the Christian Bible, they were made in HIS IMAGE!

Go ahead bake them all a cake! Have a party, get to know one another. Maybe then you will find it harder to hate.

In fact, I think we should all across America, have "CAKE PARTIES" and include Christians who are against serving gays and the gays they don't want to serve. It may start dialogue and understanding. We can call them Marie Antoinette parties!! There ya go, the answer to the LBGT dilemma! That and having that lesbian porn in the closet! :}

Just a little rant about life and Zombies and the right thing to do....not funny at all.....just the opposite.

I guess the question becomes, "Are we ever, as a family, going to trust anyone again. Let them in again." And this is why we all have such a hard time joining a church family. When we let you in we are all in...for you.
But are you "all in" for us? All in means, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.

As I watch the "Walking Dead" it reminds me of our dilemma as a family. Are you worthy is always on our minds. This decision used to be very easy. This decision used to be made by Peter and I. Peter would say be careful. I would say we need to help everyone.

But we have been fucked. Many a time. And it's not that easy.

You become gun shy. You start to ask questions, like how many Zombies have you killed? How many people have you killed?

And this kind of thinking boils over into church family. Yes, we think of our church as family. And despite our varying beliefs and journeys and paths, IF IF IF, we commit to a church.....the church is getting something GREAT!!! But we walk our talk and  if other people don't walk their talk, in the past, church or not, we are OUT...so our commitment to people and churches goes through a rigorous scrutiny and endless family discussions like no other.

We think we found a good group of people in this church we are going to, but some of us are still not ready to commit. We have been burned many a time, much like the walking dead group. So, why do I watch this show...it's life. It's the tests anyone who is "all in" gives people in their own head but our in the open. Cuz it's safe and acceptable in THAT world. But people who live THIS life, really live it, get to a point, just like Rick and his group, where they have to decide....are you one of us? OR are you the DEAD?

I feel sad that I have gotten to this point. I was one of the last hold outs in our group. I just hope someday I will find people who can fight WITH me in THIS world without losing my soul to do it.

The Walking Dead is about OUR WORLD. Pay attention! Who can YOU trust?

I feel lucky. I have a few. A few people outside of family that would do anything for me just if I asked them to, no questions asked and they know that is true for me if they asked. But I want to believe there are more than just those few. I keep searching...but it's becoming harder and harder to look...harder and harder to trust that there are MORE people out there.

The place that scares me the most is church. For me it was a safe haven. But people have taken over the message in many places and you cannot trust in it anymore. At least I can't. But I am still trying and that is the main thing...and I see people looking to me, asking ME. I try not to ask questions that haven't been asked. But people are asking now...do they really wanna know?

I am not sure...just not sure.....if they wanna know the truth. Are they willing to believe in each other, in themselves? Are they willing to make it through this life relying on THEMSELVES and the ones they trust?

It takes balls! It takes lots and lots of balls to be that sure of yourself and those you love and trust. Much much harder a decision than relying on God or anyone else for that matter. You are responsible for yourself, your actions, your community, your government, your schools, your choices.....your life. And that decision includes others because no man is an island...right? So, you have to figure out a way to commune with people you don't trust....you HAVE to take a chance that others are good souls. Man...that's HARD!!

But we have to......or we might as well be Michone with the two zombie's on a leash. Alone.

So, if we are going to be a part of this society we need to be "all in" with someone, with some group of people for better for worse......right? I was wrong in the past to leave on principle. I wasn't all in! I should have fought .......fought for what was right. Changed from within. I was protecting my children, but what I taught them was to run from adversity. And THAT was wrong.

So, we need to make a choice. We can't be an island. Well, we CAN be an island cuz we are badasses but we should CHOOSE not to be...just because it's the right thing to do.

It's time for crack

Happy Easter Bunny, BWAWK BWAWK!

You have all seen the commercial...all kinds of creatures are auditioning for a part as the easter bunny.
But what you don't know is that they are all on crack. Yes, it is true! Why else would a cat want to be the Easter Bunny. He would have to hop all over the world hiding shit for little kids. That's not very cat like.

Why else would a dog or a chicken or a cow wanna dress up in rabbit ears making fools of themselves. No self respecting cow would act that way, maybe a chicken, they are naturally unsure of themselves, but a dog??? NEVER!

So, the answer is... they are on crack.

Now if you have never tried crack, let me tell you it is addictive. The first time you try one morsel you are hooked and the only way you will give it up is if someone pries it out of your cold dead hands. The crack I am talking about, of course, is Cadbury Mini Eggs.

My family could eat a whole big bag in like half an hour. The crackle of the outside shell and the mouth watering chocolate inside, OMG!!

You have to be careful about this because not everyone knows what crack really is. My husband texted me once when I was at Wal Mart, "Hey, pick up some crack!"

I was at the check out and I said to the cashier, "Damn my husband wants crack, can you hold on a minute. I will be right back."

I ran off to get some crack and by the time I came back with my five bags (well, I needed some too!) there was a renta cop at the register..."Mam, this cashier said you asked her to buy you crack."

I just looked at him, holding up my armful of Cadbury Mini Eggs and smiled.

"Crack," I said.

"Yesssssss Craaaaaaack," he said in a maniacal voice, walking back to the Easter display.

I thought, oh he is so one of US!
The cashier wasn't there when I turned around. I think she quit.

My son's on a rant

So, my son, who usually doesn't rant, is on a rant about smoking while driving vs. cell phone use while driving and the evils of both.

I get it, there are a million things you can do in a car to cause distracted driving. When I was in sales I saw everything from people with homemade devices that fit on the steering wheel and held the newspaper so they could read while driving in bumper to bumper traffic on MD 270 going 70 mph with  less than one car length between them and the car in front of them because if they left more than one car length someone would cut into that hole from one of the seven lanes of traffic fighting to get to work faster than you,  to chicks with coffee in their hands, headsets on so they could talk on their cells legally, putting their mascara on while driving with their windows open to dry their hair... but the mascara is the real issue cuz if you have ever poked yourself in the eye with a mascara brush it is THE most painful feeling in the world, with the exception of burning your eye with a curling iron because you forgot to look in the mirror while curling your hair and instead looked right at the iron that was around your bangs and the only reason you are not blind in one eye is the hair was in the way... but I digress. And yes, that happened to me!

The point is there are a million things to distract you while driving and cell usage is the least of your worries. Twins, who are breast fed, in a car seat while on a long trip for instance. Or a 10 year old who knows how to "get" the 7 year old and make the seven year old scream and whine until you wish you were a barren nun so you didn't have to listen to these heathen children for one more minute. I once saw a guy getting a BJ while driving. So...there are things more distracting than cells while driving.

I personally, while driving to my son's high school football game and sipping on my water bottle filled with wine, have dropped a cd, picked it up from under the passenger's seat, put it in the cd player while swatting children in the back seat and spilled an old cup of coffee on my lap and not skipped a beat while driving.
Then again I grew up in upstate NY where your parent takes you to an icy parking lot and forces you into a spin on ice, brings you to the top of an icy mountain and tells you to make your way down while not using the brakes, forces you to parallel park in traffic with everyone cussin you out and beeping their horns into a spot that is clearly to small for your vehicle and makes you learn how to change a tire and the oil before you can take your drivers test. This is the same state that the Facebook joke posted on a wintry highway scene says, "90 percent of America sees these weather conditions and stays home, closes school and prays for the best. The other 10 percent live in upstate NY and say, "Hold my coffee and watch this."

So, are cells and smoking bad for concentration...absolutely. But there are a million other things that are as well, like eating a whopper...it does take two hands...that are equally as dangerous and not illegal. So, it makes one pause...maybe these new Jetson cars that park and brake for you are the answer, then we can smoke a doobie, drink wine, put on our makeup, read the paper, light up a Winston and answer our cell phones and NOBODY will care.

But until then, put duct tape on your kid's mouths, leave your vices at home and drive safe!!

Her real name is Ella

A disclaimer: This is tongue in cheek, funny, satire, it in no way is meant to offend and if you were offended please PM me so we can discuss. 

Two of my granddaughters went to see the movie Cinderella yesterday and when I asked the seven-year-old how the movie was she said, "Did you know her real name is Ella?"

And that is what the point of the movie should be in opinion. This chick has no balls. I haven't seen the new movie but the original version shows a young women, old enough to marry apparently, who lets everybody walk all over her. She can't do a goddamned thing for herself. And anyone with a brain could say this points to a diagnosis...but I will get to that later. It is a very complex historical documentary about women, this Cinderella movie, so put on your seat belts.

Of course, the story takes place in an era when women had no rights and were owned by men. The step mom is a genius in how she works the system and she gets no credit at all! In fact she is seen as a bad person. 

She marries a rich guy, canoodling and bamboozleing him into marriage, even though she is a single mom with two kids. And the kids are not even boys! I mean all the guys back then wanted a male heir; so a guy with a dead wife and a baby girl would NOT be lookin' for a kinda ugly chick with two girls. So, step mom really had her act together with how to play the game of the times. Marry a rich guy, he dies, don't marry again so you get his money and can actually own your own property. Then get your girls to marry royalty and you have it made!

But then there is the little glitch of his daughter...she is kind of a pussy and her name is Ella. She talks to birds and isn't all that smart. She can barely make a decision for herself. I am kinda thinkin' special needs here. So, you get her into a "life skills class" with the cook and housekeeper. Which she excels at, except for getting distracted by those birds and mice all the time. ANNNNNNNND, she thinks they talk to her.

Ok, so here is another little tidbit of history...special needs people were killed back in the day. So, this step mom is really good here and puts her in the attic when company comes over so no one figures out she is special needs or if they know she is, they figure it's kinda like Jane Eyre and since step mom has the big bucks to keep their "not quite right" daughter in the attic...good for them!

Old Ella having special needs, even if they are environmental,  may also explains why the dead father took any woman he could get, even if she was ugly and had two girls and no male heir. Just sayin'.

So, back to the story of the greatest most caring, dare I say brilliant bitch, step mom in history... the girl, not only was slow but probably had some mental illness issues going on because she starts seeing fairies and thinking they are REAL!

Yup, ole Ella, who lives by the Cinders, hallucinates a fairy to make her dreams come true, out in the garden, talking to the air, and mice, and birds who are all talking back to HER just as the palace guy comes to the house with the invite to the ball! (Not really good for the Jane Eyre plan to keep her from being killed by the guys in the white coats.)

As we all know some people with special needs can be very stubborn and insistant. So, despite mom telling Ella she really can't handle the ball. There will be lots of noise and lights and people, Ella decides to go. Step mom cannot hire a Personal Care Aide for Ella and has to lock her in the attic. On the way up the stairs, Ella's dress get ripped. It's a nightmare.

Then just as step mom of the century is setting her girls up to be royalty so they can all have a better life, special needs Ella almost ruins it all...and then, just when step mom thinks she can breath, Ella shows up at the ball with glass on her feet. Now, who the hell would wear glass on your feet. Step mom is scared out of her mind, "OMG, they are going to send her to the mental hospital or worse!"

So, she pulls her into one of the ladies' rooms and puts her in her own dress so she can sneak her out of the palace unnoticed, but the damn prince has a foot fetish and sees this chick with glass on her feet and makes his guards bring her to him so he can dance with her in those glass shoes. The whole time he's thinkin', "DAMN girl, you are hot bein' able to dance with those shards of glass cutting into those feet. I gotta have you!"

But her feet start hurting from the glass and she freaks out cuz she cannot find her awesome step mom, so ole Ella ... she freaks and starts hallucinating again. The "fairy" tells her to leave and leave now! So, she starts running and loses a shoe. She gets outside and has no way to get home, step mom has left, given up, tired of trying to help Ella. She has to walk all the way! She is freaking out, hiding in bushes and stuff cuz the guards are trying to find her. Scared out of her mind!

So, she gets home and step mom of the year, cleans her up and sends her up to her attic to hide so she doesn't get put in the nut house or killed. 

Princey poo with a fetish isn't too smart himself, what with all the in-breeding that went on back then amongst royalty, and insists that the crazy girl with the shoes is the ONLY girl he will marry. The king sighs and says to himself, "No other kingdom will let their intelligent or even semi normal princess marry this dick of a son of mine, so what the hell." (Think Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles...yup, she thought the same thing.)

So, the soldiers show up at the door. Now, since the ball incident, step mom has been telling our girl Ella her name is now Cinderella and makes her say it a hundred times, "My name is Cinderella and I am the housekeeper. My parents abandoned me in the woods because I was special needs and this nice woman took me in." 

Step mom opens the door, scared out of her mind that they will take Ella and either kill her or put her in a nut house. But stupid "Cinderella" starts hearing things again and the mice tell her to go downstairs. She shows up, jams her foot into that painful glass slipper and is whisked away to live a life of a royal princess, doing her husband's sexually fucked up bidding for all of eternity.

Some chicks are such ingrates. 

Hey Johnny, you can't walk to the park alone...ok Ma.

Yesterday a couple was convicted of unsubstantiated neglect for letting their 10 and 6 year olds walk to the park. They live in Silver Springs, MD. A pretty affluent part of the world. I've been there.

Maryland Child Protective Services began investigating the Meitivs on Dec. 20 after someone called police to report that their children — Rafi, 10, and Dvora, 6 — were walking home from a playground about a mile from their suburban Washington home. Another caller alerted police when the children were walking from a playground two blocks from home, According to USA TODAY.

I also saw a post on Facebook yesterday where a grandparent put their infant grandchild in a roasting pan in the oven while they were babysitting and texted the pic to their adult children who had obsessively called to ask if the kid was ok, or to remind the grandparents to do this or that with the baby, like the people hadn't raised a couple of kids themselves or something. I found this hilarious! But the comments were mixed. Some folks said that the grandparents should be turned into children and youth and it was the most horrific thing they had ever seen!

Well, people I am here to tell you to get over yourselves. If a 10 yr old and a 6 yr old walking to a nice park in a nice neighborhood or a grandparent busting on his over protective, first time parent adult children is the worst thing you have ever seen then your are damn lucky!

I find it appalling, first of all, that this is getting all kinds of attention when the real question here is why the rich people are getting the government to care about their kids when there are thousands of under served poor and middle class populations that have to, I said HAVE TO, leave their children alone to work because they can't afford daycare, have no one to help or are just plain worn out from working two jobs and raising a family. Those kids play in the streets all the time. And not in the nice park. They play in truly dangerous parks. Why aren't you worried about those children?

Beside, walking to a park...really?

There are plenty of great parents who, because they had no one to help, have left their 6 year old in the car in charge of three babies , who were all in car seats, locked in, while she ran into the store for milk and diapers in a blizzard with 10 below wind chill while her husband was at a convention in California eating caviar. I am not naming ANY names!

Of course, the flip side, is my mother who left Amber in the car to go get milk at a convenience store and forgot to put the car in park. As my mother got out of the car it started to roll backwards into the Erie Canal with 7 yr old Amber inside yelling, "Hey Grandma, the car's rolling into the canal."

Luckily my mother somehow, along with an assist from  7 year old Amber, jumped back in the car and got it in Park before anyone was drowned.

But let's face it the baby in the oven pic...that was too funny. This is coming from a mom, who has an adorable video of her little girl's 10th birthday party. The girls are all doing crafts in the kitchen while dad is videoing and the twins are running around the table playing cowboys. At some point, one of the twins comes up to dad, the camera slowly moves down to see his crying face. Dad says, "James, what's the matter?"

James, a pitiful little three year old, says, "Chris won't play cowboys with me." sniff sniff.

Dad, "Awwwww, why don't you go stick your head in the oven. Go play!"

How are kids ever gonna learn problem solving skills if they can't even walk to the park at 10 years old for goodness sake. I was babysitting at 11 for babies!!

Get over yourselves people! Abuse? Neglect? Really?

Abuse is a three year old who tells you her daddy plays spider with her and he can touch her where ever he wants and when you turn him in the county tells you they have no proof and can't do a thing about it. Abuse is a 15 yr old who weighs 100 pounds and loses 10 over Christmas break but is non verbal and can't tell you what is going on. Abuse is the stuff you are not seeing on the news... that 's for sure!

Abuse or neglect is NOT letting your kids walk to a park in an affluent section of Silver Spring, MD., if you ask me. Never giving your kids the opportunity to succeed or fail on their own is child neglect.

What is also neglectful is our society telling parents they have to hover over their children, never let them fall on their butts or to have to figure something out for themselves, and then when they fail at being perfect and making a decision to let a kid walk to a park you arrest them.

In the old days, people would have yelled out the window at the kids, "Hey, does your mom know you're walking to the park alone?"

Then they would have called the mom and asked if she really did know. If she knew and they didn't think it was a smart idea that person would have done two things.

1. They would have said to themselves, that women is a dumbass.
2.  Then turned to their kid and said, "Hey Johnny...you aren't allowed to walk to the park alone, it's dangerous." "Ok, Ma!"

The end.

Hoochie mama sports reporters

Do the women in sports today know how much shit women had to go through to be a sports reporter back in day? Ooooohhh it makes me mad when I see that woman on ESPN Hannah Storm.

First of all, change your damn name...you sound like a stripper. Then you wear go go boots a low cut, short dress and you do NOT look professional. If all the guys around you are wearing suits and you have on a hoochie mama dress it's time to rethink your wardrobe!

Besides, it's sports not the red carpet. If you are in a traditionally male dominated profession, pay attention to yourself. Like it or not you are representing your gender. Do you wanna be noticed for your brain or your bra size. Yes, yes, this is all sexist. But it's how the world works and like it or not how you present yourself matters.

We owe it to those who went before us to make locker rooms accessible for women reporters.

According to, http://slapshot.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/21/the-first-woman-through-the-locker-room-door-35-years-ago/?_r=0,

"When the day finally came that she would break down a huge professional barrier, Robin Herman did not have much time to prepare. Herman, then a 23-year-old reporter for The New York Times, had been trying for a year to persuade N.H.L. teams to allow her and other women reporters access to athletes in the postgame locker room when, unexpectedly, the two coaches at the 1975 N.H.L. All-Star Game in Montreal said, yes, female reporters would be given the same access as men.

“Immediately, reporters started asking me, ‘Are you going to do it?'” Herman said. “I had been lobbying for this for a long time, so when the opportunity presented itself, I said I’d better do it.”

So, 35 years ago, Herman and another woman — a Montreal radio reporter, Marcel St. Cyr — gathered with other reporters after the game and walked in to conduct postgame interviews. Except she and St. Cyr instantly became the news and television cameras swung to them. They were believed to be the first women ever admitted to a professional locker room."

I remember when the first women reporters were allowed in a football locker room and guys were walking around naked just to be sexist jerks. So, if you are a woman sports reporter, dress like a reporter. I am not saying to hide your sexuality or anything, just be aware...alot was paid by your predecessors so you could be where you are today, respect that.

Having said all of this if I have to choose between listening to stupid Chris Collinsworth and Hannah Storm with her hoochie mama dress, I would have to go with ...well...Hannah...I can always close my eyes.

Baby names

Ok,  so I just heard that this big sports figure had a little girl.  His wife had her in the bath tub or something and he delivered her waiting for the ambulance. ..which is very cool!

But my problem is they named her some long ass name Jr. ...AFTER THE DAD! 

If you are gonna name a little girl Jr. Name her after the mom. She did all the work!  I get it, pretty much everyone knows their mom and not every one knows their dad.  Which keeps Maury Povich in business, but I digress.

Daddy is rich and famous and every one will know who she belongs to...the problem lies in the fact that people copy celebrities! 

Now all these poor little girls will be named after their broke ass, good for nothin daddy and will not be able to deny them when they fuck up AGAIN, and you know they will,  and end up in jail or borrowing money from their grandma on social security, or moochin food off the poor bag lady.

Hey ain't that yo daddy?
No, no that ain't my daddy.  I never seen him before.
But ain't yo name. ...Rick James Jr?
Ok, ok that's my daddy

See...it's a helluva thing to saddle a little girl with. ..women have enough to deal with in life without be named after their daddy!

There's always one

Whenever you go to a function there is always ONE...you know that person who needs for the whole place to know THEY are there. They are the person who hoots and hollers way too much or goes and talks to the band or the organizer after the event is over to make sure that person knows THEY were there.

Sometimes I am that person. I just realized it last night. I feel bad for performers when the entire audience is silent, or just claps a little. It makes me feel bad so I take it upon myself to Whooo hooo or clap loudly, even if  I don't think the song is very good.

I also like to go talk to the performers or organizers to pick their brains about things that weren't said. It's the news reporter in me. I always, always have a question that wasn't answered in the speech or the performance.

But last night was exceptional! We went to a great concert and this old man, lets call him Rummy, came in already snookered. As my mom would say, "He had a toot on."

He could barely walk and decided everyone at this concert was against him, including the performers. he screamed,"FUTT YOU" at the musicians, threw up on the table and, the best part, started a fight with someone at the next table.

Now let me tell you, Ole Rummy could hardly stand up and he had, at one point, fell asleep in his nachos. He was elderly and drunk and the person he chose to pick a fight with was like, well, Vin Diesel.

I nudged my husband and said, "Look over there. This oughta be good."

Yea, I know we are a little sick. But the old guy was with two handlers and Vin Diesel was with a couple guys who were with the band. So, I figured it would fizzle out before it started but you just never know. People watchin' at it's best!

So, the old drunk guy, tries to reach over and grab this hulk of a young man several times and his handlers pull him back before ole Vin even notices him but eventually, because the Rummy was told not to do it he keeps tryin', eventually the Rummy grabs Vin's shirt. I am like, ok it's on!

The handlers are pullin' Rummy back by his shirt trying to get him to sit in his chair. Vin is lookin' at these people like What the FUTT is goin' on and Pete and I, along with all the other attendees, had dinner and a show!

While Rummy is still fighting with his handlers, the two guys at Vin's table step between Rummy and Vin just to make sure nothin' happens and Rummy starts heavin' again on the table. Man, I was so wantin' to see if Vin could be quick enough to not get barfed on during the fight...

So, Rummy lost to Vin because he needed to barf.

The handlers get him to leave. Rummy falls down out in the parking lot.But they get him into the car. The handlers come back for their stuff and the area is Lysol-led. We tell Vin we would have paid 50 bucks for THAT pay per view fight! We all laugh and watch the real show.

Then about an hour later the handlers come back, completely unnerved by an entire room of people seeing their friend barfing, starting fights and screaming at people. They sit down and enjoy the show completely unnerved by the events earlier that evening.

THEY were gonna get their money's worth. Now THAT is enabling at its best.

MOM was right and that is all that matters!

"Got to Give It Up" and "Blurred Lines", yea it's a big court case now, but what I wanna tell you is... the first time I heard "Blurred Lines" I told my family, "They ripped off Marvin Gaye!"

My family all said, "NO WAY. Which song?"

They then listened over and over to ole Marvin's song and then proceeded to tell me I was crazy. They even went so far as to call me old and to make fun of how I think people look alike and can't remember my own husband's name sometimes just because ONCE I texted a women I work with and asked her the name of the cat in the book we read in library that day in school. She told me she sat there looking at the text and just started laughing hysterically. Her boyfriend was like, "What the hell is wrong with you?" And she said to him as she texts me, "The cat's name is Pete. Isn't that your husband's name?" 

So I run through every child and grandchild's name until I get to the one I am calling. 

So, yea, I admit, I have called people and asked, "Ya know that time we were at Giant supermarket and that guy in the blue shirt asked me about those purple veggies and it made me think of that great recipe that old lady in NY used to make, ya know the one who lived down the street from Nana, the one who used to walk down the street if someone had strep throat with her flashlight, back in the day when no one called the doctor cuz it cost too much money to go to the doctor...what was I talking about?"

So, yea, I called my daughter, Kaity, who is very musical, for a week straight humming, "da da dada, doo dat doo doo" and explaining that the DJ played it at Amber's wedding and how did she not remember and I know if she just heard the tune enough she would KNOW the song. "Da da dada, doo dat doo doo" come on! "Mom, I don't know!" "YES YOU DO KAITY!" And guess what? She eventually remembered, "At da Club" by Fifty Cents! And now because I relentlessly begged her to remember and then she remembered that is my husband's ring tone on his phone for me when I call him.

Yup, I am saying this court case is all about ME! It is vindication for all the years I have told people things and they don't believe me until someone on TV proves it to them!!

YOUR MOTHER IS RIGHT!!

You all have to say it every Sunday dinner for a MONTH! They owe me! Oh, the ridicule, the  humanity.

NOW, about that mixing up people. While it is true I thought the Director of Admissions and the President of the University that my husband worked at were the same man because they were Italian guys who always wore a suit. Thus making important dinners with the bigwigs very difficult for me and my husband because they both would not always be there. If they were side by side I was good. Alone, not so much. 

While it is true that I can describe people head to toe and tell you important things like where they work, how many kids they have and if they have a good soul, I probably cannot tell you their name. 

While all of that is true, it in no way takes away from the fact that .... wait for it....wait for it...

MOM WAS RIGHT!!! They ripped off Marvin Gaye.

And that is all that matters.

Mystery Science Theatre...2015.. Chapelle and Walking Dead

Ok so lately, Comedy Central has been showing old "Chapelle Show" episodes. And of course, we all have been watching them again, cuz they are the funniest satirical comedy to hit TV in the last 20 years.

Well, tonight we had to quit watching Chapelle cuz "Walking Dead" was about to start and we always watch last week's episode 10 minutes before the end so we get into "the dead zone" before the new episode starts.

So, as we are watching all of the humans on walking dead hold the door closed as a zombie tornado is threatening their barn they are holed up in for the night, Pete starts doin' the "Mystery Science Theatre" thing from back in the day, pretending he's Chapelle but doing the play by play like in Mystery Science Theatre.
OMG, I almost peed my pants.

For those of you who don't know, "Mystery Science Theater" was this great show where a guy and his two robots/aliens watch old sci-fi movies and make fun of them. www.club-mst3k.com They even have a club.
Oh my goodness, they were hysterical and Peter and I were addicted.

So, Peter is picturing Chapelle doing the same thing on "Walking Dead" episodes.

My challenge to you is to give me some feedback. Watch an episode describe it and make some Chapelle like smart aleck remarks.

I would love for all of you to to watch "Mystery Science Theater" and "The Chapelle Show" and hit me with your best shot...LOL.

So, have at it....How about takin' on this asshole who smiles when he gets hit. Rick hasn't asked his two questions...and Marchone is turning into a pussy. So, have at it folks.

Tell the truth, for the sake of religious freedoms everywhere...spoiler alert, this one ain't funny

Jesus said, "Tell the truth. The truth shall set you free."

Yet, in today's world, or at least the world that I live in, when one tells the truth one gets judged, yelled at, called names, and sometimes shot at and killed.

I live in a very conservative Christian section of Pennsylvania, where Amish and Mennonite religions have influenced the culture here over the years. I find Mennonites very accepting of other's views of religion for the most part, and if they do not agree they are able to agree to disagree in a peaceful manner. Probably because they have suffered religious persecution themselves. However, I cannot say the same from the outcrop of individual churches influenced mainly by Mennonites that are not affiliated with anyone but themselves nor for many extremely religious people that I know around this area.

This is not to say that the problem is not at epidemic proportions across the world, it is! For much of this discussion, however, I will speak of Christianity.

Why is the Christian religion so unable to change and accept facts of science? The bible says to seek the truth. Yet, when people seek the truth and find out for themselves that: alot of the bible is historically inaccurate at best; or intentionally designed to further the beliefs of a few prominent powerful men to further their personal gain at worst, people become so angry, so hateful.

Let me tell you a story about my 7-year-old granddaughter. She was at school and told a classmate that she didn't think it was possible for God to be Jesus's father because Mary was a human. This classmate called her names and told her she could NEVER play with her again or be her friend. My granddaughter's response was, "Well, I will still be your friend when you're done being mad."

Now, 7-year-olds are not just born thinking this. Someone taught both of these children about religion. Which response sounds more like Jesus?

In a world filled with religion based hatred how can we equate tolerance with "don't say anything because it may upset them." This 7-year-old had the guts to question a very unbelievable scenario and was met with hatred and alienation.

Please read the article in the link below. I consider myself a Spiritual Christian. I view the Bible as a historical book and guide to life. I think Jesus is "the son of God (or goodness)" just like I am a daughter of God (or goodness). I think of communion as a way to connect to my fellow Christian's whether they believe as I do or not. Breaking bread, sharing a meal is extremely important to me as it has throughout history been a way to bring people of all faith or no faith together. I believe that Jesus, Buddah and Mohammed were good and just people trying to make sense of a world that made no sense. They tried to help guide us through to a place of knowledge and enlightenment where we can make our own choices. And EVERY one of them was all about acceptance, about treating others as you wanted to be treated, about letting people learn and maneuver through this life at their own speed. EVERY one of them was peaceful and those people who changed that thinking to benefit and further their own agenda for this world spat in these wonderful loving vessels of goodness's faces.

We have to stop saying it's OK. It is not OK to teach a 7-year-old that you should not be friends with someone who doesn't believe the same as you. It is NOT OK to let someone spew hatred about anything, especially religion, and be quiet.

It doesn't take much. All you need to say is that you believe the founders of the world religions, all of them, to be peaceful, love-filled men and you don't believe they would approve of hatred and walk away.

" In this war, the best weapon, by far, is the truth.  Now more than ever, telling the truth counts.  So please, do it." Jeff Taylor

God is goodness in the world. Seek the truth and speak the truth. Stay at your religion, be active and actively and lovingly encourage change from within. Religions are not meant to be 215 years old. They are meant to help you through this life and give you peace.

Your religion was made up by inspired humans much like yourself hundreds of years ago. Be dynamic, make your religious beliefs dynamic, don't let the words of the past bog you down. Start with the idea that God is goodness, not some white man with a beard on a cloud. And Goodness is around you, if you look for it, every day.

I love you all because you are reading this and are seeking truth. Keep having faith that this journey, where ever it leads you, will eventually bring you so much peace and contentment that all of the milestones of painful truths and feelings of being duped and being abandoned by your faith will bring you to a better place in the end. 

Feel free to contact me at anytime if you need to talk about this. It is HARD! And at times you will feel like you are dangling in the wind. But, believe me, it is worth it. 

And always remember, telling the truth counts. 



We must offend religion more: Islam, Christianity and our tolerance for ancient myths, harmful ideas - Salon.com  http://www.salon.com/2015/02/22/we_must_offend_religion_more_islam_christianity_and_our_tolerance_for_ancient_myths_harmful_ideas/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

The question of whether Western countries should adapt to Muslim newcomers for the sake of social harmony confronts us with a formidable dilemma, which is, nonetheless, eminently solvable.  Steadfast belief in the inerrancy of religious dogma, coupled with (at times fanatically held) convictions that the dogma’s many mandates are meant to apply to all humanity, clash with principles of secular governance and Enlightenment-era precepts that oblige us, at least ideally, to sort out our problems relying on reason, consensus and law.  (Yes, blasphemy laws still stain legal codes in several Western countries, but for a long time now they have rarely been applied.)  Though many Westerners wish to show tolerance to Muslims they consider disadvantaged in their new homelands, we cannot “adapt” here, especially under threat of violence.  We must unabashedly stand by reason, the rule of law, and secularism.

Those arguing in favor of exercising “restraint” are really advocating (cowardly) self-censorship.  We do enough of this already.  When some “offensive” cartoons are published in Europe and riots break out in the Middle East, the newsworthy images, no matter how relevant, are seldom reproduced in the reporting that follows.  And lest anyone forget, neither the artists of Charlie Hebdo nor Lars Vilks entered local Muslim communities waving around their Muhammad cartoons, bent on stirring up trouble.  They were exercising their professions in their offices, with every legal right to do so.

Should we admit how touchy a subject faith is for Muslims and just leave it alone?  Well, religion is a (far too) sensitive topic for many people, and not only Muslims.  Our enduring deference to all religions, despite their verifiably phony explanations for the origins of the cosmos and our species, to say nothing of their toxic preachments, only furthers their survival.  We need not less but more frank talk about faith.

Concepts of freedom of expression and the laws designed to protect it were born in Europe’s blood-soaked history of interfaith warfare, mostly between Catholics and Protestants.  The (atheistic) French Revolution aimed to “de-Christianize” France in order to smash the (temporal, wealth-based) stranglehold the Catholic Church had on the country.  The Founding Fathers well knew how the state could use religion against the people; hence, the First Amendment safeguards both freedom of speech and freedom of religion by forbidding Congress to enact laws abridging the exercise of either.  The Abrahamic faiths have never been simply matters of conscience; they have always served as weapons to impose control, especially over women and their bodies, sexual minorities and education.  Weapons need to be kept under lock and key, or better yet, eliminated.....

“Now,” she added, “it’s us or them.  I want us to win.”

So do I.  And if you’re honest with yourself, so do you.

In this war, the best weapon, by far, is the truth.  Now more than ever, telling the truth counts.  So please, do it.

When it comes to weddings, the "gays" have it made!

I was just looking at a friends of ours' wedding photo. It is the best wedding photo I have ever seen. It's a photo of a beautiful bride standing in a gorgeous wedding gown holding her decorated soldier spouse in her arms, up in the air, like they are about to cross the threshold. They are both smiling and happy, truly happy, free to be themselves.

Her decorated soldier just happens to be her wife.

We have so many traditions in American, hell let's face it, in the world, surrounding weddings. When I was planning my wedding my mother and future mother in law broke out the book of ettiquette. The bride's family pays for the gown and the reception, including tranportation, and invites. Grooms family pays for flowers, rehearsal dinner which should include all out of town guests. Each member of the wedding party pays for their outfits, which runs into the thousands of dollars. The maid of honor has to foot the bill for the shower and bachelorette party and the best man the bachelor party. The bride and groom have to buy something, a gift, for all of the members of the wedding party. The groom pays for the honeymoon. And by the time I got done with trying to figure out what color toilet paper I wanted in the toilet at my fourth bridal shower, I left home, moved in with Peter six hours away from home and didn't come back until the Friday before my wedding.

Gay couples are finally so lucky. Even if they had former relatives who went underground to get married the question of, or argument about, why Johnny doesn't want to wear grandma's wedding dress is probably NOT brought up.

It's all new, fresh, a blank canvas. If you wanna go all traditional have at it. If you wanna both wear wedding dresses or tuxes have at it. One a gown, one their dress uniform...HAVE THE FUCK AT IT!!!

It's great getting married when you're gay! A new frontier! When your gay and engaged nobody's feelings get hurt because you don't want the groom's family seated on the right and bride's on the left because there are 300 of one side of the family and 30 on the other. Nobody gets into a fight over how you HAVE to turn CATHOLIC if you marry a Catholic and that would break your mother's heart because the Catholic church won't marry you in the first place when you're gay! They may recruit you to be a priest or a nun but they won't marry you!

As an aside... No one from my side took communion at my wedding, despite the priest actually inviting all the non-catholics up for communion - it was Vatican II everyone was open to new and exciting things, yes I am being sarcastic - not one came. So the catholic side of the church had empty pews all taking communion and the protestant side sat there with their hands folded making comments about the priest making cocktails. Hetero weddings are typically very exclusionary. You gays are so lucky the hard core Christians hate you so you don't have to deal with this! Just sayin'.

At the planning of gay weddings nobody says a word because they are all, or at least the old fart stick in the mud's self involved homophobes are all, sitting there with their mouths hanging open. The grandmas either don't come to all the planning "luncheons" or shut up out of fear, ignorance, stupidity or sometimes, sometimes if you are lucky, they shut up because they are being supportive!

By virtue of being out casted and ostracized, hated and maligned for all the history of the world, except maybe the ancient Greeks, the gays have earned the right to make up whatever kind of wedding they want and nobody is gonna say a god damned word! HA! I love it!

Now, my prediction is that the great grandchildren of our friends who wore a wedding gown and a decorated army uniform and all the other wonderful gay couples who are to be married in the next couple of years, my prediction for their great grandchildren is that as Jane and Christina tell their great grandparents about their upcoming nuptials, they will be told, "Well, your grandmother and I had PINK toilet paper in our bathroom at the second shower. It was so beautiful. And, honey it would be great if you, Jane, wore my gown and Christina wore Grandma's Army uniform. IT'S TRADITION, after all!"

But for now, the gays have it made!! :}

To my loyal readers...try to comment I think I fixed it...

let me know

The KOCH brothers truly have the biggest balls of them ALL!!

I am sitting here watching the news this morning and looking at Facebook...I hear a Coke commercial, well, what I think is a Coke commercial. I look up when I hear INDUSTRIES and cannot believe what I am seeing!

The KOCH brothers pretty much own and run the whole world. If you have never heard of the Koch Brothers, Charles and David, they are billionaires who use their money to push their agenda, religious beliefs and pretty much do what they want...Here are some of the things they have been accused of over the years:

• Efforts to gut Social Security. Spending more than $28 million, the Kochs have funded hundreds of reports, commentaries and books which popularized the notion that Social Security is on the brink of collapse.
• Attempts at re-segregation. The film ("Koch Brothers Exposed" by Robert Greenwald) reports on Koch-funded efforts to remake a North Carolina school district’s diversity policy, in effect re-segregating the schools.^[10]
• Voter Suppression. Koch money has supported voter ID laws in 38 states.^[11] These laws are billed as a way to avoid voter fraud, but the film argues that they are actually intended to make it more difficult for Democrats to vote.^[1]
• Keystone XL. The Kochs use their influence to sway legislation regarding the Keystone XL pipeline. Koch Industries has a significant financial interest in this oil and gas project.^[10]
• Cancer in Crosset. A Koch paper plant pollutes the air and water of a community in Arkansas. The film explores a link with a cancer cluster in the small African-American community.^[12]
• Higher Education. The Kochs give millions of dollars to universities, with the stipulation that the schools must hire Koch-sympathetic professors.^[10]                                                                                  An opening introductory profile, in the film "The Koch Brothers Exposed", on the Koch brothers claims that their inherited wealth was built by their father Fred Koch, a founder of the John Birch Society, by working for Joseph Stalin, and has been used to “wage a systematic attack on American values” and “defining the lives of ordinary American under the radar for over 50 years.” according to Wikipedia's overview of the film.                                                                                                                                                                                                                             I think I must confess I am bit prejudice against the Koch brothers. I feel anyone who probably have lunch with Dick Cheney and "W" on a regular basis, which for me puts them on my enemy list just by association. I have always told my kids, "You are who your friends are." That is a nefarious group right there, if you ask me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
• So, given the fact that they have lived under the radar for all these years, secretly manipulating our world, the fact that they now have the kahunas to have a PR commercial telling us how great they are and how just about everything we use comes from the KOCH EMPIRE, scares the ever lovin' shit outa me!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     You all really need to read up on these fellas. Colleges have to hire Koch sympathetic professors. Presidents and congressmen take their call, immediately! Horrific things happen and they get slaps on the wrists...but according to the commercial, we are all damn lucky to have them and their products in our world.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    And they totally need to go see a proctologist about those balls cuz they truly have the BIGGEST  BALLS OF THEM ALL!                                                                             

Jane You Ignorant SLUT

Saturday Night Live will celebrate 40 years this Saturday. For those of you who only remember SNL of the '80s, forget all you have seen and look up the first ten yrs. on YOU TUBE.

When we were in our teens living in NY where the drinking age was 18 and everyone could go to bars at 16 because you had paper driving licenses and could erase the year you were born very easily and get into the bar (especially if you were a pretty girl), everyone went OUT to watch SNL on Saturday night!

Imagine being in a bar filled with people talking, laughing, listening to the music and then at 11:30 a hush falls over the place and all eyes turn to the TV. Usually there was only one TV in the bar. You would all squish together to see, listening intently to geniuses twisting and twining everyday events into humor so all of us could take the social and political upheaval known as the '70s with a grain of salt for that moment and not commit mass suicide at the unending barrage of shaninighans, lies and buffunery coming out of Washington DC at the time; not to mention the civil rights movement, ecology movement, anti-nuke movement, women's rights movement, war on drugs, Vietnam War, (the DRAFT alone would put anyone in their right mind over the edge having to watch the numbers cross the bottom of the TV screen every single fucking night during the news to see who you knew was going to have to go get killed or fucked up by the stupid war...).

We were a generation of people who were not going to let "the man" push them around anymore. We were long haired hippy freaks who didn't like signs, at least that's what the song said. But what we were mostly was a generation of young people who really really cared and were willing, at a very young age, to put our "sit ins" where our mouths were! We were ripe and ready for change!!

We went to college and protested injustice...ALOT!

So, when SNL started making fun of everything we all took so seriously it was a welcome break. Gilda Radner, doing Emily Litella and her editorials about "Russian Jewelry" (Jewry), the "deaf penalty", "endangered feces"...the list goes on...always wrong, Jane Curtain, the news anchor, correcting her and telling her how stupid she was. Emily Litella, the little old women in the dress and horned rimmed glasses, would say, "Nevermind" then BITCH under her breath. This whole skit was a mock of the fairness doctrine, which at the time said TV had to present opposing views on all issues.

Then there was John Belushi and the "Killer Bees" skit. They were poking fun at the Illegal Alien issue way back then.  Yes, still in the news today. BTW the killer bees were Mexican..get it? They came into people's homes bearing knives in their teeth, trying to steal honey...yup...nothing was sacred.

Or how about the "Olympia Restaurant" skits, "Cheeseburger cheeseburger coke, no pepsi" ....you figure that one out. Even Mr. Roger's Neighborhood wasn't safe from the satire. Eddie Murphy changed the children's show into a bleak peek into American Ghettos.

But my very favorite all time, yes I said all time!! skit was Weekend Update, Point Counterpoint, with Jane Curtain and Dan Ackroyd talking about Lee Marvin vs. Michelle Triola's divorce. YOU HAVE TO YOU TUBE IT!! Point Counterpoint: Lee Marvin and Michelle Triola | Saturday Night Live - Yahoo Screen

Thank you so much SNL for making the political tornado that was the '70s bearable and, as they said every Saturday Night after the news, " Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow!"

PS. With a few exceptions the SNL of the mid to late '80s should be erased from memory forever, just sayin'. Not funny, not challenging, not risky, not ...just not.

I find death so underwhelming and Robin Williams was right.

I find death so underwhelming it gets me in trouble some times. Let me preface this post with the fact that my father died when I was 27, mom - I was 40. My grandparents were dead most of my life because I was a change of life baby. My mother's mom died when she, my mother, was in her early 20s and since my mother was an only child and had to care for her during the depression her whole teen years, she spent most of my life warning me about death in good and bad ways. So, I have this good/futted up view on death.

So, I have said for a very long time that heaven is when you get to be done. This was partly due to my mom's version of it...like life is hell, there is no fire type hell, and when you die you are lucky to be rid of this place. My version since all my life I was obsessed with studying religions...is a little more Zen.

Yes, I admit it, even freshman year of college I took courses about religion with all the preacher wanna be's. I actually thought about being a nun once when I was a teen but for very practical reasons, someone would take care of you all your life, you really didn't have to work that hard and I could be sequestered and write all the time...of course, there was a problem because I wasn't Catholic and talked alot...but I digress...

I was obsessed with studying religions and when I came across Buddhism and reincarnation I was facinated. But coming back as a bug was a little much for me...enter Earth worshipping religions like Wikkan and Native American cultures...add in a little Christianity and life experience and you have, ta daaaaaaaaaah....

Teena's version of the cycle of life!!

Which I thought I made up because I never heard anyone else think like that...then i saw, "What Dreams May Come" and I sat the whole movie with my mouth hanging open because it was EXACTLY what I had made up! Even Peter said, "Hey Teena, isn't this what you made up."

I thought how did the writer of this show and Robin Williams know what I made up????

Light bulb moment, it really IS how the cycle of life is or how could OTHER PEOPLE KNOW IT???

I became obsessed with Zen and read Suzuki's book, "Zen Mind, Beginners Mind" non stop for ten years to try to understand it. I started practicing meditation daily and refocused my life to keeping myself centered so I could calmly understand others.

I believe in soul mates. Not, just one, I have many. People you meet and just "know" them. My husband is my soul mate. The night we met at a bar he gave me his father's 24 karat gold necklace with a medal on it that said, "remember mama" on the back. He wore it during WWII as a 19 year old kid, his dad, and gave it to Peter. The night he met, April 5th, we talked and talked, he save me from an asshole who was grabbing my ass and the next morning (get your mind out of the gutter, bars stay open until 5 am in NY) in the parking lot of the Electric Grinch bar in Schenectady, NY on April 6th, 1980, Easter Sunday,  my soul mate gave me that necklace.

I thought he was fucking crazy when I figured out it was real ! Men had made me a little jaded at them time. But soul mates are real.  Just like Robin William's character in that movie...you cannot give 50/50 you have to give 100/100 % to make it work. You're all in or your not. Soul mates are all in.

That is why death is so underwhelming. It's not YOU! It's just a body, just a shell, when it dies you either get to come back or stay in a beautiful place in your mind or you are done learning your lessons here on earth and you just get to let your soul be free.

I know in my heart that we are here to learn lessons. People are put in our lives to teach us, to guide us, to open our eyes. Children die for that reason, special needs kids are here for that reason. If we aren't paying attention when they are here, if we don't learn from them, we have to come back.

Those souls must go back to heaven and say, "Dumb shit, I tried to help them see the truth and NOTHIN'."

"Poor me my kid died, poor me my husband died, poor me my parent died, poor me...blah blah blah" All of those people and experiences were put in your life to teach you something...LUCKY YOU!!!

Lucky you, your child died and now you can help other parents and YOU appreciate life more.
Lucky you, your husband died and you actually got to meet and be together so you know true love.
LUCKY YOU for every damn experience in your life.

Because, death is so UNDERwhelming! Life is the hard part if you are paying attention.

Remember when you looked out the window for your weather forecast?

While I am as guilty as the next guy about being addicted to the Weather Channel's broadcasts about hurricanes, blizzards and tsunami's, I yearn for the days of old when you looked out the window and said, "Oh, it snowed last night we had better listen to the radio to see if school is off."

The forecasts are like watching a car crash. Let's face it. You want to look away. But you just can't! It all started for me when we lived in North Carolina and got two hurricanes in two months in an area that had not gotten a hurricane in 40 years. People had hurricane parties, mocking the forecasters. Being from New York, I thought they were all nuts and put my kids, my dog, my photos in our van and headed north. At the time I ran a daycare out of my home and mom's came with their children the morning the hurricane hit and left nasty notes on my door.

As I sat safely in my mother in law's home in upstate NY watching the town I lived in get plowed by Hurricane Bertha, I just couldn't believe that people mocked these warnings. But the old "cry wolf" story holds true. Hurricanes hit a particular area that is very small, but Mother Nature is a sick old broad and could change her mind any minute. So, no matter how many computer models we make she could still say, "Futt you and your computer models!! Here you go Wilmington - your turn. Hurricane Bertha!!"

So, my friend from PA stayed for the hurricane and said it was the biggest mistake of her life. They huddled in an inner hall of their home waiting for the driving rains and winds that sounded like a train to pass over their home. But that wasn't the worst. After it passed there was no electricity. It was 100 degrees out, 100 percent humidity and no way to get cool. The streets flooded from debris and the whole place smelled of rotten fish. So, I felt justified in my "yankee" decision to leave. But became addicted to watching weather news.

Now, we grew up in upstate NY and lived outside of Buffalo for many years. So, when we moved to Southeastern PA where they close school at the threat of a dusting of snow or if the temperature dips into the single digits, I thought I could kick my addiction. After all, where I grew up unless the school bus was pushing snow with the front bumper - there was school. My school's motto was, "Rain, snow, sleet or hail, Mohonasen District never fails." So, certainly the threat of deadly storms would be off my radar and I could walk away from the Weather Channel forever!

But, sadly, that is not the case. Now I watch it to see other people's misery and fear. I find I am disappointed when they are wrong and people don't get creamed with a blizzard or a hurricane misses us and goes off to sea. What kind of sick person am I?

Well, maybe it boils down to wanting the computers to be wrong and Mother Nature to be in charge. Maybe I just want to be able to tell what the weather is by looking out the window. Maybe I am darn tired of being warned all the time! Maybe, just maybe, I want to stick my tongue out at every computerized fortune telling computer model screaming out warnings about every gosh darned thing that might go wrong and just wanna live on the edge, not knowing, not being able to prepare.

I DON'T WANNA RUSH TO THE STORE TO BUY MILK AND BREAD EVERY TIME IT SNOWS! (Which is what they do here in SE PA ... I will never understand it since I would want candles, medicine, and an alternative heat source, having endured real blizzards, but that's just me.)

So, yea, I watch Weather Channel hoping for them to be wrong. I watch hoping the someone else will get hit by the blizzard so they can hone their survival skills. I watch routing for Mother Nature to futt someone up a little, not too much, but a little, so maybe just maybe we can all go back to walking out the front door and saying, "Hey, it's cold out today. I need a coat."

Thicker than Water

Started watching Thicker than Water on Bravo this morning. I was hoping for Salon Takeover and was making coffee so it was just on and sucked me in.

Not quite sure who Ben Tankard is, I googled him. Apparently, he was a pro basketball player who in retirement became a gospel singer and producer and preacher. This is his second marriage and he was never home when his children were growing up and they were abused somehow as kids. These kids are all grown now and in their 20s and maybe 30s and the whole family is dealing with a childhood without a dad because he was on the road making money.

The couple is so mentally healthy and his wife Jewel is the glue that holds the family together and gets Ben back on track when he slides into "throw money at it" mode. The grown kids were abused somehow as children. The one daughter blames her older brother for not "saving" her from the abuse and then finds out that while she was there on weekends and holidays being abused, he LIVED there and was being abused all the time. I do not know where this abuse came from but it apparently wasn't Ben who was the perpetrator. Yet, like most good parents, he feels guilty for his kids suffering. In his mind, if he was home more instead of making money on the road, the abuse would not have happened.

Given the fact that Ben's solution to problems is to throw money at it, I seriously doubt that he would have made a difference. That said, it brings up my age old peeve of parents who are successful, unbelievably successful, in their careers who get awards and accolades and who do NOT acknowledge their spouse, nanny, parents...whoever held their lives together, while they were off chasing their dream.

If you want to chase a dream, don't have kids. Kids require lots of time and one on one time with their parents. This whole "quality time" bullshit doesn't hold water with me. I am sorry if I am stepping on people's toes but kids would rather have you with them than have money. And not just physically with them, put your damn phone down!! When your kid has to say, "Daddy" or "Mommy", more than twice because you are on your phone then you are TELLING him/her that your phone is more important than they are.

Now, before you go all ape-shit on me I am not talking about people who HAVE to work to survive. I am talking about people who take promotions say, to be top of their game, when they KNOW it will require lots of travel, meetings and stress.

Once I was at a retirement party for a President of a University. He broke down in tears in the middle of his speech and turned to his children, "I am sorry! I am sorry I missed all of your ball games, chorus concerts, scout camps...your lives...to further my career. Please forgive me."

I think that about says it all.

So, if you have a good job, if you make a decent living and can pay your bills, if you have health insurance and food on the table and a roof over your head then keep that job! Don't take that promotion. It's OK!! Enjoy your family while you can. They will be grown before you know it.

In the end your co-workers won't be standing around your bed holding your hand as you die; your children will. In the end when you leave your company, no matter how much you did for them, they will have moved on to the next guy for all of their accolades and praises the day after you are gone. In a couple of short years all of your hard work will be forgotten because someone else will be doing the work your did in a better way. It's difficult to believe that a place you spend all of your time at for your whole life will not give two shits about you the day after you leave.

But, your family, your children, the people who love you, your real friends, friends that are family..they will be the ones who remember you always. THEY will be the ones who speak your name after you are gone, the ones who will tell your story for generations, the ones who will carry you in their hearts for always. They are your legacy, NOT your job.

OK, maybe if you are a brain surgeon who invents the cure for cancer this does not apply, but in general that is true.

Now, to get back to the old Tankard clan. They are trying desperately to make it work and move forward. I applaud that. One of my biggest faults is hashing things out, trying to fix old scars, make everything better. Over the years I have learned that scars heal stronger than the original skin. People can come to an understanding but that scar is always there, a symbol of that pain and how you got through it. One shouldn't try to fix that. It's a badge of sorts.

So, the Tankard clan has a better plan than I; talk about it a bit and move on.

Just be there for each other because you should be there for each other. You do not have to like your family but you do have to love them. Love means putting your pain aside for the good of the family. It means family over everything you want, you need, you desire for yourself. It means being content with what you have and not always seeking peace from outside sources. "Peace" sits next to you at the dinner table.

The Tankards are learning this lesson on national TV, a very brave thing. I just have one hope...I HOPE TO GOD THIS IS ONE REALITY SHOW THAT IS NOT ALL SCRIPTED!!! Please be real, please be real....LOL.

Ehhhh, even if it is scripted it still makes me feel good, sparks decent conversation and blogs and I am OK with that.