It has been my experience over a lifetime of chaos that ones own desperation leads to contempt by everyone around you. People don't like seeing someone whom they respect or call a friend fall apart, lose their shit, or in any way be vulnerable. And so they choose to loath them and their actions.
I have lost my shit a couple of times over the years and have witnessed other's shit being lost many a time. The resulting reaction from people is to distance themselves from the shit and the person losing it at all costs.
They show compassion at first so they don't look bad and then fade away so the shit doesn't stick to them. Sometimes they bad mouth and or belittle the good name of the person who lost their shit and pretend they knew it was coming or never liked or trusted them anyway.
Sometimes, and this is my favorite, they support the shit loser, pretending to not care that they too may get shit on themselves, that others may think they are losing their shit too or that they are too stupid to not get involved. The martyr shit loser supporter is the most interesting to me because they risk so much for so little because their support is all show.
Of course, there are the attention whores and save the world types who support the shit loser for personal gain, one must not forget that group. But that is not my focus here. My focus is the regular guy or gal who just doesn't know what to do when someone loses their shit.
It is hard watching anyone fall apart. But when strong people fall apart people become scared. Their world is a little less stable when dad, who never even cried in front of them, has a nervous break down or a co-worker who was seen as the champion for the underdog just leaves their job. This implies that the person that everyone thinks has it all together is sometimes the most afraid, the most unsure, the most vulnerable and that knowledge shakes their world.
When steady people fall apart we don't know what to do.
What we must realize is that our reaction to their demise is a mirror into our own soul. We should use that revelation to be honest with ourselves; use it to be a better friend, co-worker , family member; use your observations to draw from when you find yourself in a pile of your own shit. Because it WILL happen. Shit always happens.
When this crisis happens to you, and it will, look around and see who your real friends are. Look past the do-gooders and the ones who turn and run, and see if anyone is still standing there reaching out to hold your hand. If there is someone you are very lucky. If not, there is no reason to panic because, hopefully, you will be able to look in the mirror, at that point in your life, and realize that your best friend and person you can count on the most in this life is looking right back at you.
Losing your shit is cathartic and when you look back at the experience you may want to embrace it. You waded through the darkness alone and made it to the other side, finding out along the way that your best friend is you!
