Restaurant review

So this weekend we went to Tilted Kilt. ..if you don't know it's the Scottish version of Hooters. This is my second visit to this restaurant and I cannot believe the number of people who bring their children there.
     Most of the kids just gawked in shock but one little guy, maybe 10 years old, who was trying to watch a basketball game made my day. The waitress's boobs kept getting in his way.  Now, depending on where you were sitting it either looked like he was trying to get a better look at her double Ds or possible trying to stick his face in them or watching basketball.  The waitress seemed tickled by his attention evidenced by the "how cute" look on her face, which is a little sick but that's another story,  until he said,  "Excuse me, mam, you're blocking the TV."
     The TV insult was bad enough but "MAM"....OMG, I about died laughing. 
     On the other end of the age spectrum my old man was feeling "sorry for these girls" and using who was "jiggly" and who wasn't as a way to tell which waitress was ours to order coffee, "since they didn't wear name tags."  
     As far as I could tell the only people in there who really appreciated their bodacious boobs and exposed cheeks were these two old lesbians who stayed a long time and I am guessing had a GREAT afternoon when they got home.
    Which brings me to my first visit to a Tilted Kilt. My oldest granddaughter was in a fashion show at a local mall. We didn't know what kind of restaurant the TK was and were distracted by her barrage of questions about modelling as we were being seated. As soon as the waitress came my daughter and I looked at eachother and then around the restaurant and before we coyld process the whole thing my granddaughter says,  "YOU are dressed like a hussy!"
    I guess that about sums it up. Food's good, beer is GIGANTIC and people watching is outa this world.  I highly recommend the Tilted Kilt, just don't bring your kids.

Come together ...right now... The Beatles were right

I have been doing an experiment for the last couple of weeks.  I am very liberal and very political. I have been private massaging people that I don't know on Facebook who have very different political opinions than I and asking then to come together. This is what I posted on my page, 

www.Facebook.com/ichoosetosee

with the hopes of getting others to try.

"To those of you who follow this page, I am trying to start a grassroots movement to help our country heal. Would you copy and paste this on a person's PM who thinks differently than you. See if we can start some real person to person dialog. ...

Hello, my name is Teena. I find you a well read conservative and I am trying to find some people on the "other side" , i am very liberal,  to help our country find common ground. I feel strongly that the inability of our citizens to value eachother's opinions WILL be our country's downfall because let's face it, presidents come and go ...citizens are always here. 
Anyway, would you be willing to take a look at my page and share some ideas you find sensible, even if you don't agree with them , if I would do the same for you. 
My page is I Choose to See on Facebook.  Just type it in the search.
If this isn't for you thanks for listening and thank you for being involved politically in our country."

I for one have struck out. Of ten people I PMd not one has agreed to my proposal and I have gotten some nasty comments about my beliefs that I would call less than tolerant and definitely not polite.

When did our country get to the point that two people can't have a civil conversation about civics and politics. Where did the "I respect your opinion and choose to disagree" attitude go?

Debate, when I was growing up was called "healthy" and people were admired for being good debaters. I took argumentation and debate as a class at SUNY Albany and it was not part of the Poli/sci curriculum, it was something educators felt necessary for life. It was good to great everyone's opinion and all the facts before you came to your own conclusion.  

People came together, minds were opened and changed sometimes and there was respect not rancor and hatred.

Please take part in my experiment in your life. Find someone who is not like you and find middle ground.  I fear if we cannot,  it will be the beginning of the end of our civilized democracy.

The old days. ..not so good

I remember a time when parents,
could beat on their kids at will.
There was no one to help them,
and many were painfully killed.

I remember sitting at my table,
Told to eat it or not to move,
Falling asleep in my dinner of broccoli,
Cuz my dad had power to prove.

My mom was so unhappy,
Stuck at home with my sisters and me
She wanted to help those who were hurting,
But a nurse she was not allowed to be.

I remember kids appearing happy,
A result of seen but not heard.
I remember having no choices, 
Frustrations a child endured.

Your dad had all the power.
Your illnesses hidden from all.
Drinking to ease all the sadness.
Because there were no helplines to call.

The old days were not all of that good .
A far way from where we have come.
I wouldn't go back to that fantasy,
Not sure anyone with half a brain would .
By Teena Vaughn D'Annibale

I told ya so effect

I know people who voted for Trump...good, nice people with hearts of gold who love our country and really want the best for her.  And they are not speaking out.

I am very concerned about the :

I TOLD YA SO EFFECT

I have put many questions out on Facebook trying to understand what Trump voters, who told me they were voting against Hilary not FOR Trump, were doing now, given how vocal they were during the election about Hilary and her lies and deceit, about Trump's lies and deceit.

Not a peep. Except one friend from Texas who has the balls to dialogue everyone else is quiet. 

This scares me!! We all need to be critical of our elected officials, even the ones we voted for.

THEY work for US! !

I am afraid that Trump supporters are being supportive of EVERYTHING he does so they don't hear from the other side,  "Nanenanepoopoo, we were right and you are wrong. "

The,  I TOLD YA SO EFFECT is real.

It silences people.  And we all need to be LOUD right now.  LOUD about what you like and dislike,  whether he was your candidate or not he is now OUR president .

We need to create environments where everyone present feels valued and heard and we are losing that because of how obsurdly obvious each side thinks their position is.

Nothing is ever 100 percent in politics. It is give and take, happy mediums.  Sometimes unhappy mediums, but mediums nonetheless. 

If  this discourse  and compromise doesn't happen then we are not a democracy.  Then we are a kingdom.  And THAT is my biggest fear.

So, ease up a little when you're speaking about things you're passionate about so the other person feels safe and open to what you are saying.  And listen to one another. ..You both may change your mind a little. ...it's a very democratic thing to do.

Mr. TRUMP, you are not a king. You are a servant

When people voted AGAINST Hilary it said that they were sick of status quo and lies and conflicts of interest by the Clintons. It said alot about your integrity,  that you couldn't stand her wheeling and dealing.
Now, though, you have to be FOR Trump because he is our president...
I keep asking people if you are ok with him now as president elect and people are still ok with him. I pray you are not saying this because of your pride.
Pride is no reason to support this behavior.  Pride is no reason to support racism or cronyism or manipulation of foreign powers or turning your back on American law cuz you are rich and powerful.

Pride is no reason to NOT fight for what is right.

You voted because of what you thought was very wrong.  Use that same wisdom to tell Trump,  No! You must follow the rules too! We want inclusion!  We want separation of your wealth and our country.  You are not a king. You are a servant! A servant of the public!
Speak your mind about him, please!!!
I know you,  I know alot of you are GOOD GOOD people and that is why you couldn't vote for Hilary.
Please speak out against the things you do NOT agree with concerning Trump. It is your duty as an American.

Me

To tell you the truth,  the only person you have in this life is yourself. I have heard people say that is sad, or a dim view of life...but the day you are ok with that statement your world will open up. We spend so much time relying on others,  worrying about what others think or do, defining who WE are by others actions that give us titles like wife/ husband, mother/father, teacher/student, boss/worker that we never know ourselves. You come here alone,  you leave here alone...there is a message from the universe there. 
Touch your own soul every day and make sure you know who you are before you leave your bed. Touch your own soul every day before you lay your head on the pillow at night. Know who you are so you are never alone.

Written by ME

When your best friend looks just like you

It has been my experience over a lifetime of chaos that ones own desperation leads to contempt by everyone around you.  People don't like seeing someone whom they respect or call a friend fall apart, lose their shit, or in any way be vulnerable.  And so they choose to loath them and their actions. 

I have lost my shit a couple of times over the years and have witnessed other's shit being lost many a time.  The resulting reaction from people is to distance themselves from the shit and the person losing it at all costs. 

They show compassion at first so they don't look bad and then fade away so the shit doesn't stick to them. Sometimes they bad mouth and or belittle the good name of the person who lost their shit and pretend they knew it was coming or never liked or trusted them anyway. 

Sometimes, and this is my favorite, they support the shit loser, pretending to not care that they too may get shit on themselves, that others may think they are losing their shit too or that they are too stupid to not get involved.  The martyr shit loser supporter is the most interesting to me because they risk so much for so little because their support is all show.  

Of course, there are the attention whores and save the world types who support the shit loser for personal gain, one must not forget that group.  But that is not my focus here. My focus is the regular guy or gal who just doesn't know what to do when someone loses their shit.  

It is hard watching anyone fall apart. But when strong people fall apart people become scared. Their world is a little less stable when dad, who never even cried in front of them, has a nervous break down or a co-worker who was seen as the champion for the underdog just leaves their job. This implies that the person that everyone thinks has it all together is sometimes the most afraid, the most unsure, the most vulnerable and that knowledge shakes their world. 

When steady people fall apart we don't know what to do.

What we must realize is that our reaction to their demise is a mirror into our own soul.  We should use that revelation to be honest with ourselves; use it to be a better friend, co-worker , family member; use your observations to draw from when you find yourself in a pile of your own shit. Because it WILL happen. Shit always happens. 

When this crisis happens to you, and it will, look around and see who your real friends are. Look past the do-gooders and the ones who turn and run, and see if anyone is still standing there reaching out to hold your hand. If there is someone you are very lucky. If not, there is no reason to panic because, hopefully, you will be able to look in the mirror, at that point in your life, and realize that your best friend and person you can count on the most in this life is looking right back at you.

Losing your shit is cathartic and when you look back at the experience you may want to embrace it. You waded through the darkness alone and made it to the other side, finding out along the way that your best friend is you!