"Take me to church"

So, I am driving to work last week and I hear this song on the radio...Take Me To Church. I was listening to this local morning show called Rick and Lisa. They are the lamest morning show in the world. I am used to Howard Stern and Elvis Durrand in the Morning. Rick and Lisa rarely play music you haven't heard 500 times before and they NEVER tell you who sang the songs or what the name of the song is. They just talk about themselves and their kid Jonathan and their lame-o boring life. Oh yea, they are married. The only GOOD thing they ever did was interview this old woman they called Grandma, who wasn't really their grandma. She was a hoot. Then she died... But I digress.

Take Me To Church is such a dynamic, powerful song. It made me cry the first time I heard it and I couldn't wait to hear it again and tell someone about it. I wanted to know the lyrics. So, the next time I heard it I listened very carefully to the words, because, unlike you youngsters I depend solely on the radio for my listening pleasure and did not think to look up the lyrics on one of those sites on "the line" aka internet.

The next time I heard it I belted out the song at the top of my lungs while driving with my husband and my daughter in Maryland. "Take me to church, I'll treat you like a dog who barks in the night, then I'll lay you down and make you my wife. I'll keep you in my life forever, da da da da, Take me to church."

Yea, I know those aren't the words...and my daughter says, "Hey ma, ya know you can look those up on the Internet." Before I can get two more words out my husband turns to me, all serious and says, "Teena" (now that is a thing with us. When he uses my name in an argument for instance, I scream, "Don't say my name!" Because to me that is very condescending), so he says, "Teena, remember the Who!"

I am driving so I can't look at him very long, but I see he is very serious and not teasing at all, which is an issue with him because he is the biggest tease on the face of the planet and has been known to torture the ones he loves with his relentless "busting". But this time he is serious and only a man who has been married to a women for more than half of her life would know to say, "Don't look up those lyrics!"

When we were kids the only way to find out what a song lyric REALLY said was to buy the whole album, not just the 45, and read the lyrics in the jacket of the album IF you were lucky enough to have them printed there. This did not always happen and for years all of us thought that many song lyrics were something totally different than what they really were and, to tell you the truth, were sorely disappointed when we found out the real lyrics.

Case in point, yours truly and The Who song "Who are you whoot whoot, whoot whoot...I really wanna know." For years I sang that song at the top of my lungs, "New Orleans, whoot whoot, whoot whoot, I really wanna go!" Yup! We even had arguments about it. But he was right, as usual. And now that song makes me do the sad ole "wonk wonk" every time I hear it.

I also thought the Chipmunk song said, "Me, I want yahoo yahoo." Like he wanted to cheer for Christmas, ya know. It is Alvin. Alvin's always a little wacky. When it really says, "Me I want a hoola hoop." Which caused relentless teasing from the grown children when they found out... teasing that continues to this day...so there are scars people!!!

So, to get back to Take Me To Church...I listened closer and there is something about a knife and sins...I just don't wanna know. I prefer to think he is saying... his lover is who he worships on Sunday mornings because in the eyes of the church they are sinners. And for him THAT is OK and BETTER than real church.

The most ugly, talented, sexiest man in the world, Steven Tyler, of Aerosmith fame, once commented on music videos, I am paraphrasing, but he said ...he hates them. The reason:  then everyone knows what the song is about and can't think about what it means to THEM.

He is a wise wise, ugly, sexy man, Steven Tyler! Never tell me the real words to Take me to Church, NEVER!!!